Thoughts: By Chance It’s not every day that you walk into a dress store and find someone that you fall for. However that was the case with us. Our paths had crossed so many times over the past two years, but only now were we finally brought together. It’s crazy for me to think what has occurred between us over the course of the last five of so weeks. You came into my life at such a perfect time, and completely unexpectedly. I was on the verge of giving up on the idea of finding someone I could share any sort of affection with. After being turned down time and time again, I had legitimately grown tired of it. It just so happened that this girl standing no more or no less than five feet small happened to close the gap in my life that I had been longing to fill.  So much about you has completely exceeded any sort of expectations that I held for the members of the opposite gender. It’s very rare to find someone who looks as good as you on the outside, and is just as beautiful on the inside as well. And the more-so to find one who shares the same feelings towards me. Whether you know it or not, you’ve given me everything I could want and need in a girl and then some. I don’t know how to explain it, but I’ve never been one to question a good thing when it happens to me. And honestly, I’m glad you happened to me. Everything about you is truly amazing, and far more than I could’ve ever expected initially.  Perhaps it was by chance that we had been brought into each other’s existence. But I’d like to think that there’s more to it than just chance involved. For someone like you who’s so perfect for me to come into my life at such a perfect time, I don’t see how this could simply be a matter of coincidence. I feel like I was brought into your life and you were brought into mine for a reason and I plan on figuring that purpose out.  I haven’t felt this way about anyone in such a long time and it’s a completely intoxicating emotion that has completely consumed me. I’m absolutely addicted to the sound of your voice, the smell of your perfume, and the warmth of your body as I hold you in my arms. I no longer have the words to express just how I feel towards you, because those words simply don’t do you justice by any means. You’ve changed my life for the better simply by being in it.  Those three words, I love you, have been given new life to me because of you. New purpose, and new meaning. Words that haven’t left these lips in quite some time with such emotion behind them. I really do believe that I love and care for you a lot. However, these words are simply that: words. So I’ll do my best to show you just how much I love and care for you through the things I do, more often than the things that I say.  I love you miss Honeylet Mae Canonizado. I really do. And hopefully soon enough, I’ll get that chance to show you truly how much you mean to me, if only by chance.

Thoughts: By Chance

It’s not every day that you walk into a dress store and find someone that you fall for. However that was the case with us. Our paths had crossed so many times over the past two years, but only now were we finally brought together. It’s crazy for me to think what has occurred between us over the course of the last five of so weeks. You came into my life at such a perfect time, and completely unexpectedly. I was on the verge of giving up on the idea of finding someone I could share any sort of affection with. After being turned down time and time again, I had legitimately grown tired of it. It just so happened that this girl standing no more or no less than five feet small happened to close the gap in my life that I had been longing to fill. 

So much about you has completely exceeded any sort of expectations that I held for the members of the opposite gender. It’s very rare to find someone who looks as good as you on the outside, and is just as beautiful on the inside as well. And the more-so to find one who shares the same feelings towards me. Whether you know it or not, you’ve given me everything I could want and need in a girl and then some. I don’t know how to explain it, but I’ve never been one to question a good thing when it happens to me. And honestly, I’m glad you happened to me. Everything about you is truly amazing, and far more than I could’ve ever expected initially. 

Perhaps it was by chance that we had been brought into each other’s existence. But I’d like to think that there’s more to it than just chance involved. For someone like you who’s so perfect for me to come into my life at such a perfect time, I don’t see how this could simply be a matter of coincidence. I feel like I was brought into your life and you were brought into mine for a reason and I plan on figuring that purpose out. 

I haven’t felt this way about anyone in such a long time and it’s a completely intoxicating emotion that has completely consumed me. I’m absolutely addicted to the sound of your voice, the smell of your perfume, and the warmth of your body as I hold you in my arms. I no longer have the words to express just how I feel towards you, because those words simply don’t do you justice by any means. You’ve changed my life for the better simply by being in it. 

Those three words, I love you, have been given new life to me because of you. New purpose, and new meaning. Words that haven’t left these lips in quite some time with such emotion behind them. I really do believe that I love and care for you a lot. However, these words are simply that: words. So I’ll do my best to show you just how much I love and care for you through the things I do, more often than the things that I say. 

I love you miss Honeylet Mae Canonizado. I really do. And hopefully soon enough, I’ll get that chance to show you truly how much you mean to me, if only by chance.

Thoughts: The Feeling As of late I’ve been longing for that feeling all over again. You know the one I’m talking about. That lovey dovey, cutesie, happy ending to a sad story kind of feeling. The Hollywood ending to a movie that looked like it wasn’t going to end well, but we all know that it does. Sure, it’s just puppy love, but hey can you blame me? There’s nothing quite like that feeling. My problem is just been finding someone to really, truly share that with. Several girls have crossed my path, but few have really given me that legitimacy in which I feel that there’s something more there than a physical attraction. I feel like a little simp for always writing about this subject matter, but it’s a feeling that hasn’t permeated my being in quite some time. I’d like a girl who I could share the simple things in life with. Holding hands, sharing life stories, just being in one another’s company. Who knows? One of these days, my time will come when I can have that be a part of my life again. Where I can be part of someone’s life again. Someone I can connect with in more ways than my fingers intertwined with her’s.  I miss that feeling more than I’d like to admit at times. Hopefully someone can finally turn my luck around and end this losing streak of mine. Hopefully I can experience that feeling again. In the meantime I’ll be sitting here wishing for my time to come. And when it does, I’ll be waiting and ready.

Thoughts: The Feeling

As of late I’ve been longing for that feeling all over again. You know the one I’m talking about. That lovey dovey, cutesie, happy ending to a sad story kind of feeling. The Hollywood ending to a movie that looked like it wasn’t going to end well, but we all know that it does. Sure, it’s just puppy love, but hey can you blame me? There’s nothing quite like that feeling. My problem is just been finding someone to really, truly share that with. Several girls have crossed my path, but few have really given me that legitimacy in which I feel that there’s something more there than a physical attraction. I feel like a little simp for always writing about this subject matter, but it’s a feeling that hasn’t permeated my being in quite some time. I’d like a girl who I could share the simple things in life with. Holding hands, sharing life stories, just being in one another’s company. Who knows? One of these days, my time will come when I can have that be a part of my life again. Where I can be part of someone’s life again. Someone I can connect with in more ways than my fingers intertwined with her’s. 

I miss that feeling more than I’d like to admit at times. Hopefully someone can finally turn my luck around and end this losing streak of mine. Hopefully I can experience that feeling again. In the meantime I’ll be sitting here wishing for my time to come. And when it does, I’ll be waiting and ready.

As much as I love my friends

It’s nice to just spend this week and the next away from them for a bit, just to sort out what I need to sort out by myself. No need to put on a front among those who still get to see me. No need to dress up. Just me, being me. 

I don’t know. I find solace in silence. 

Thoughts: Timing Have you ever given thought to just how important timing has been for your life? How much being at the right place at the right time could potentially change the course of your life forever, without you ever really realizing it. For example, that seemingly long stop light on your way to work could have helped you avoid being a part of that accident on the freeway. So many opportunities are granted to us all because of timing. You were exactly where you needed to be, exactly when you needed to be, and that made all the difference.  Think of how many couples are together because of timing. Before I go on, yes this is yet another love based post, but bear with me on this. Choosing to go to the same event, be at that same place at the same time. Think about it. What if you hadn’t gone out that night. Would you ever have been granted that opportunity to meet him or her?  Completely spontaneous, yet entirely serendipitous in how life plays itself out. Speaking of serendipity, look simply at the movie. How a pair of cashmere gloves brought two complete strangers together. But for those who’ve seen the movie, they know how it all plays out. Timing can work in conjunction with you as well as being a seemingly random, almost “fate-like” occurrence. In the movie, he spent so much time searching for this girl, and it was only until he had left it in fate’s hands that they ended up being together.  I find myself often trying to put myself in situations that fate would otherwise have done for me, and in doing so I completely defeat the purpose. It ruins the spontaneity and takes away from the experience of it all. There really is no use in forcing something that truly isn’t there. If it happens, then so it does. Perhaps it works out now, maybe later, maybe never. Maybe the chance has passed and maybe many more chances are on their way. We never really know. And I suppose that’s the magic of it all, is that we never truly know. Until we know. 

Thoughts: Timing

Have you ever given thought to just how important timing has been for your life? How much being at the right place at the right time could potentially change the course of your life forever, without you ever really realizing it. For example, that seemingly long stop light on your way to work could have helped you avoid being a part of that accident on the freeway. So many opportunities are granted to us all because of timing. You were exactly where you needed to be, exactly when you needed to be, and that made all the difference. 

Think of how many couples are together because of timing. Before I go on, yes this is yet another love based post, but bear with me on this. Choosing to go to the same event, be at that same place at the same time. Think about it. What if you hadn’t gone out that night. Would you ever have been granted that opportunity to meet him or her?  Completely spontaneous, yet entirely serendipitous in how life plays itself out. Speaking of serendipity, look simply at the movie. How a pair of cashmere gloves brought two complete strangers together. But for those who’ve seen the movie, they know how it all plays out. Timing can work in conjunction with you as well as being a seemingly random, almost “fate-like” occurrence. In the movie, he spent so much time searching for this girl, and it was only until he had left it in fate’s hands that they ended up being together. 

I find myself often trying to put myself in situations that fate would otherwise have done for me, and in doing so I completely defeat the purpose. It ruins the spontaneity and takes away from the experience of it all. There really is no use in forcing something that truly isn’t there. If it happens, then so it does. Perhaps it works out now, maybe later, maybe never. Maybe the chance has passed and maybe many more chances are on their way. We never really know. And I suppose that’s the magic of it all, is that we never truly know.

Until we know. 

The Strikeout

For most of my life, I’ve believed that I am a good person, with good intentions, and a level head. Most of my life until the past few months. I feel as if over time, I’ve lost track of who I was as a person, more importantly as a man. Or at least a man-in-training. I held myself to standards that for the longest time I thought that I wouldn’t break. To an extent, those standards still exist. However, they’ve become recessive, as my outward facade dictates otherwise. 

I’ve sat here many a night, throwing myself one-man pity parties, wondering why the members of the opposite sex have all but come my way. Contemplating what aspects of my life have lead to a losing streak that is on its way to rivaling the Detroit Lions, or the Cavaliers just a year ago. I honestly didn’t understand it. I believed I was what many would call a “catch”. It was only until recently that I realized that very thing that I thought made me so desirable was also the very same reason why I was not. I became cocky, arrogant, outright impudent. My code of honor had quickly become just a list of suggestions that I hung in the back wall of my mind.

I used to tell people that looks meant nothing to me more to me than their outward appearance, and that their personality is what mattered most. And then here I was, chasing after who I thought was outwardly attractive, not necessarily inwardly. And all of that has lead me to this point. This whole time, I had someone who legitimately met all of my “standards” in the best ways possible standing right there in front of me. Someone who I actually clicked with. But I completely ignored those facts to pursue someone who I thought “looked better”. Shallow. Arrogant. A decision that honestly, I regret more and more with each passing day. By the time I realized what I did, it was too late. Both now have someone in their lives who were smart enough to devote themselves to the other, who realized what they had in front of them. 

I know better to not get in the way of either situation. Despite how much it pulls at my heartstrings to deny my feelings, their friendship is valued higher than my own selfish wants. I made that mistake, and so I have to live with that. It took a shell shock for me to realize all these things, but I suppose it’s better late than never.

So here I stand, up to bat, bottom of the ninth with two strikes tallied against me already.

Here comes the pitch. He swings….

I’d like for you to captivate me for longer than the moments you stand in front of me.

Occupy my thoughts twice a day: when I’m awake and when I’m asleep. Seduce me not just with body but with mind. Entangle me with your thoughts and words, not just your hair as we lay side by side while night passes into the morning. I’d like for you to look deeper than skin deep, and see the type of man that I can be for you. Let me dive past those pools that you call your eyes and swim my way into the ocean that is your mind and soul. Then let me drown in your love forever. 

You see, there are far and few things that you can tell me that I have yet to hear. However, there are those words that I envision you speaking to me that sound sweeter than any song that the angels themselves can sing. I’ll stop myself short, because honestly I have so much to say, in so many different ways, but I can’t seem to get my point across without sounding too cliche. So I won’t say I’m in love, no, because as you know, actions speak louder than words. And these actions could fill volumes that even Alexandria’s library couldn’t contain. 

(Source: catondelrosario)

Thoughts: “Options”

Often when I speak with my friends about relationships, particularly the single ones, a phrase that comes up more often than not is: “I’m keeping my options open”. It’s a sentence that has always irked me slightly when speaking about the formation of relationships. Sometimes I feel as if we treat relationships like they’re business decisions, which to an extent it is in the long term, however because we have yet to truly enter into a relationship with that person, we can forget that they two are people like us, who have feelings just as much as we do. To me, saying that one is keeping their options open makes me feel as if they’re almost expecting something better to come along, or that some how the current individual(s) that they are talking to may at one point let them down.

Being on the other side of this situation, honestly I’d rather be treated more like a person, than an “option”. In that regard, if you yourself would not like to be an “option” to someone, then why designate another person as such? If I knew I was just an option to someone, I’d honestly be offended or at the very least upset that for whatever reason I have done enough (or even haven’t done enough) for that person to see a reason to believe that I could not be an immediate choice or priority. 

When it comes down to it, the only time I feel as if I can designate “options” is when I’m making shopping choices. As it pertains to people however, the longer one “keeps their options open”, the longer they take to figure out who or what they want to do with their lives. It’s really a matter of plans vs. actions.

I’d rather make you my priority and decision, than keeping you as an option.
“She’s not an option, she’s a person.” Remember that. 

Valentine’s 2012

Today was my first Valentine’s day spent without a “Valentine” of sorts in the past three years. It felt kinda weird not being among the couples for once, seeing everything from the outside. Seeing everyone with gifts, talking about their plans for the night with their dates, people buying valentine’s cards, it was a lot to soak in all at once. On the brighter side, my wallet was pretty happy about it today though. I had plans throughout the day with people, but none of those really panned out. Pretty much a synopsis of my love life boiled down to a single day. It’s okay though. Today was just another Tuesday. Come tomorrow, today’s problems and pains will be nothing more than the past. Honestly, I refuse to let anyone other than myself dictate how happy I can be. 

Perfectly lonely, my loneliness is perfect for me.

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About Me:
I'm just you're average guy who makes music. 20 years of age, attending UC Riverside. Happily taken by Honeylet C.

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